Funny business mistranslations

by: Rebecca

June 10th, 2010

Have you been thinking about trading abroad and translating your marketing material? Be warned, these well known companies have lost millions following the discovery that their product or slogan was lost in translation!

Company

Slogan / Product

Chinese translation

Pepsi come alive with the Pepsi generation Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the grave
Coca Cola coca cola bite the wax tadpole
KFC finger lickin eat your fingers off
     

Company

Slogan / Product

Spanish translation

Parker Pen it won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you it won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant
Frank Perdue it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken it takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused
Coors turn it loose sufferer of diarrhoea
Chevrolet chevi nova doesn’t go
Ford pinto tiny male genitals
     

Company

Slogan / Product

German translation

Carol mist stick manure stick
     

Company

Slogan / Product

Italian translation

Schweppes tonic water Schweppes toilet water

Examples taken from innocent English.com

Anyone heard of any other good ones?

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How to be happier: start your own business

by: Rebecca

June 7th, 2010

A recent comprehensive study has proven that occupation is the primary ingredient of happiness. Even in times of recession the business owner has been shown to be the happiest of all occupations.

A top Harvard study claims that happiness comes from having the following elements in your life, reading through them it’s clear to see how running your own business helps fulfill many of these particulars:

 

·       Understanding you deserve happiness

·       Having control

·       Surrounding yourself with positive people

·       Problem solving instead of wallowing in self pity

·       Spending time each day doing something for yourself 

Humor and health also appeared as important factors. 

In a study of how occupation affects happiness, business owners came out on top.

Occupation Overall well-being
Business Owner 72.5
Professional 71.5
Manager/Executive 70.9
Farming/Forestry 67.8
Sales 67.6
Clerical 66.1
Construction 65.0
Installation 64.4
Service 64.0
Transportation 62.6
Manufacturing 62.1

Source: Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index

It’s great to know that we are in a business that actually serves in making people happier. We are here not only to form companies but to support starting your business.

What more incentive do you need to get things started today?

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Have you ever imagined your boss naked?

by: Rebecca

June 3rd, 2010

Bare management

Bare management

According to a study for Sky TV nearly 50% of us have imagined our boss naked. I can honestly say that I do not fall into that category, justifiably, because my dad is my boss!

We are often advised to imagine our interviewers naked or a naked audience during a nerve wrecking presentation to ease the stress .  I am suggesting that a truly empathetic management will incorporate some of the following  bare essentials of naked management:

Are you decent?

Keeping cool

Naked management involves keeping cool under stressful situations. Your staff  need to know that they can rely on you to sort any challenges. If you are stressed your team will become  stressed.

Looking good in the mirror

Make sure you are upbeat and positive. Staff will mirror their boss’s behaviour. 

Courage

To be a naked manager you need real courage to delegate and allow your staff to make important decisions. Allowing them to make mistakes is also vital for learning. It’s important that they have their own responsibilities and can clearly see how they contribute and fit into the picture. 

Expose yourself

Your team needs to know that you will really listen to them and take all concerns very seriously. Allow them to feel they can approach you by taking an interest in their lives and sharing things about your own personal life. 

Weight issues

Does my bum look big? Praise, recognition and even more praise. Your team shouldn’t have to wonder what you think of them or if you recognise their effort. Show your praise openly and do nice things for them.

Bare all

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, your staff will see through the bravado and distrust you. Openly admit to your mistakes and don’t be afraid of looking weak. Asking your staff for help/opinions will empower them and show you value their input. 

No hiding

Deal with issues immediately, you can delegate but you shouldn’t hide from confrontation. You will need to remind your guys that you are the ultimate decision maker from time to time. It really helps to have clear rules from the start so everybody knows what the boundaries are and you ensure that everybody is treated fairly. Our staff handbook is invaluable for setting out procedures and policy (we are constantly adding to it when a new situation presents itself).   

Not everyone is cut out to be the boss and as a business owner it’s important to recognise your strengths as well as weaknesses. You may need to consider employing a manager and conducting some naked interviews! 

Does anyone have any more naked management tips?

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Why run a business naked?

by: Rebecca

May 27th, 2010

What would the world be like if we ran our companies naked? I try to adopt this approach as much as possible at Duport.  

 Reasons to run a naked business:

  • Resources

No one will borrow your chair anymore and you may even find your stationery is less likely to go astray.

  • Distraction

Top distraction technique for unpopular announcements.

  • Free tanning

Make good use of your computer monitor radiation.

  • Economising

How can you chip in for that birthday present when you keep your wallet in your trousers?

  • Time management

No more ironing or deciding what to wear in the mornings.

  • PR

Let’s face it no one will ever forget you.

  • Staff motivation

Casual Friday will have to take on a whole new meaning.

  • Saving the planet

Less washing and no requirement for air conditioning.

  • Health and Safety

No more working with hazardous substances.

(some ideas taken from Jokecentre.com)

There is a serious side to running a naked business. By this I really mean stop spending so much time protecting yourself, treat everybody equally and give information honestly and freely. If this is reciprocated you will work with staff, customers and suppliers to achieve amazing results. Naturally (get it) you need to exercise some caution with regards to how much knowledge could be passed on to your competitors. 

Does anyone else have any positive reasons for running a naked business, keep them clean please!

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Congratulations you’ve started a new life

by: Rebecca

May 24th, 2010

I was lying in bed yesterday contemplating the arrival of my second child in 2 months when I started to think about the similarities between the arrival of a new baby and starting a new business:

Am I good enough?

Before the birth of my first child I had many sleepless nights wondering if I would be good enough to raise a child. The pressure to be the perfect parent and the guilt associated with spoiling something with infinite opportunities and possibilities can be overwhelming. I hear similar sentiments everyday from budding entrepreneurs. The truth is you’ll make lots of mistakes and you’ll discover early on to learn from this and move forward. If you are committed you are good enough.  

Can I afford it/ is now the right time?

Sometimes we don’t get a choice and redundancy, like an unexpected pregnancy is a surprise. However, most of us spend time worrying about when the right time is to start and if you’re going to be really honest the wasted time is simply you losing the battle against your anxiety. Yes, common sense must be applied but there will always be a reason not to start right now.

I am yet to hear from someone who had the situation forced upon them that it wasn’t the best thing that ever happened. Like every parent you’ll find a way to cope financially because you have to.

 Mixed feelings of excitement and trepidation

You will experience constant waves of excitement and anxiety. You will have more time for the positive if you discuss and plan for your concerns.

Have a plan!

Most parents and business owners know that it’s rare we stick to our plans (I’m sure you’ve worked out I’m referring to birthing and business plans) but we must have a place to start and build from. Having a plan will ensure that you keep control and focus and it will give you more confidence.

Sleepless nights

The sleep deprivation experienced during the first few weeks of parenthood is not a fair comparison to starting a business but with children and businesses be prepared for many sleepless nights fuelled by concerns or exciting plans. 

Teething problems

With any great success you have to expect teething problems. We learn from our mistakes and you are bound to make most of them at the beginning when you have the least experience.

How much support will I get from partner/family/friends?

Some of us are luckier than others in this department. It is very important to consider how starting a new life will affect those closest to you. Quite often you’ll never know until you begin and learning to know who to share your success, excitement and problems with may be surprising. Jealousy from partners who have to deal with sharing your time or the success and attention of your new business is common.

Research/ Advice

Everybody has an opinion you can read a hundred books but the simple truth is that you will work it out for yourself. I am a firm believer in research and listening to others but use advice as a starting point to find what works best for you in your situation. Nobody knows what they are doing, despite appearances and bravado, but with time you’ll be dishing out plenty of advice yourself to those starting out!

Having experience of both I can honestly say it is terrifying to start either of these utterly life changing situations but once you begin you just crack on (there isn’t much time for worrying anyway) and at times it is tough but overwhelmingly it’s exciting and rewarding. Wouldn’t life be boring if we didn’t challenge ourselves?

Can anyone else think of some comparisons?

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Worst PR examples

by: Rebecca

May 20th, 2010

There’s no such thing as negative press; what a load of rubbish! I accept that notoriety amongst certain celebrities has earned them significant revenues but that’s just personality prostitution.

The rest of us see loss of reputation and negative press as disastrous to our businesses. We all make mistakes but unfortunately the attention we receive for our failures, in our society, is magnified.  The dilemma is, that we need to learn from our mistakes to make progress.

When I’m dishing out yet another personal critical review I like to remind myself that companies with lots of money and expertise often get it badly wrong. Here are some classic PR mistakes and well publicised examples: 

Product issues

Toyota recoils over recalls

The brand has been badly damaged and reputation of Japanese car makes ruined by the recall of over 8m cars.

Persil’s rotten lot

Persil Power was meant to clean clothes at lower temperatures but it soon emerged that its new catalyst attacked certain dyes in clothes beyond repair. Pictures soon circulated of rotting clothes.

Bernard’s birds get flu

Sales plummeted and several countries banned UK poultry imports following an outbreak of bird flu at the Bernard Matthews farm. The brand struggled to recover. 

Poor planning 

Extra time at Wembley stadium

The new building was a year late and 400m over budget.

Opening of Terminal 5 at Heathrow

BAA hoped to put an end to “Heathrow hassle” but upon opening made it a great deal worse with one in five flights cancelled.

Ikea Stampede in Edmonton

20 people needed hospital treatment following the midnight opening of the new store. The 6000 shoppers, entertained by fire eaters and stilt walkers, were turned away after just 40 minutes when security fled and ambulances arrived to treat customers with heat exhaustion and crush injuries.

 

No understanding of target audience

Ratner’s owner jokes his product is rubbish

500m was wiped off the value of the high street jewellery chain after its owner claimed its goods were substandard. During his infamous speech he stated a sherry decanter was cheap because it was “total crap” and that his earrings were cheaper than a prawn sandwich but wouldn’t last as long.

Topman at Topman insults customers

Topman’s chief was quoted branding its customers as “hooligans” and claimed that its clients only wore suits for court cases.

Barclaycard chief loses his credit

Barclaycards top exec was quoted saying that smart customers should steer away from credit cards.

(examples above taken from various telegraph.co.uk articles)

Can anyone else think of any big PR disasters that I can console myself with when I am confronted with another learning experience!

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How to create the best PR

by: Rebecca

May 17th, 2010

  • Exceed your customer’s expectations
  • Look after your staff
  • Learn what journalists want and how they want it
  • Position yourself as an expert by providing: opinion, information or carrying out research
  • Announce something
  • Organise an event
  • Do something unexpected (PR stunts).

Learning how to create the best PR takes time and commitment. Each of the points above could have several chapters written on them alone. Personally, I am always impressed by creative thinking and thought it would be interesting to draw your attention to some of the best PR stunts I have heard about. It might get your own creative juices flowing! 

The peanut protest

A student spent two weeks pushing a peanut across London, to Tony Blair, using his nose  to protest against student debt.

The Womens Institute calendar girls

A group of women in a Yorkshire branch of the WI posed naked for a calendar to raise money for leukaemia. A movie and stage show as well the calendar sales have raised millions.

Best job in the world

Tourism Queensland advertised “best job in the world” – a caretaker for one of the islands of the great barrier reef. This included a £70,000 salary and a luxury villa for 6 months. The applicants had to generate interest by asking the public to vote for them. Tourism Queensland not only employed the most enterprising and creative individual for their marketing team but got their message out all over the world from the candidates attempting to get votes for their applications. Genius.

Doves real beauty campaign

Using real women instead of models on their most recent campaign generated a 700% boost in sales. 

Lotus faceless people

Lotus placed people with prosthetic skin covering their facial features at key events. The people wore black carrying the message that you are no one until you own a Lotus.

Walkers do us a flavour campaign

Walkers challenged the public to come up with a new flavour of crisps. There were over a million entries and the winners saw their creations of chili chocolate, onion bhaji, and cajun squirrel turned into reality.

Naked Gail Porter on the Houses of Parliament

FHM projected a 100ft naked image on the Houses of Parliament. 

Fathers for Justice

Members from this campaign group dressed as super hero’s and scaled famous buildings to draw attention to their protests. 

Madonna kisses Britney

The Madonna and Britney kiss at the MTV awards dominated the media for days. 

Blue smarties

The removal and reinstating of blue Smarties by Nestle to promote their commitment to removal of artificial ingredients.  

The human billboard

An engineering student glued himself to a billboard in London to promote his book “this diary will change your life” in order to fund himself through university.

(Taken from taylorherring.com)

Can anyone else remember any good ones?

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Best and worst companies during the travel chaos

by: Rebecca

May 13th, 2010

As discussed in my last entry I was astounded at the short sightedness by the majority of companies seeking to limit their costs and even capitalise on the recent travel chaos rather than creating invaluable great PR.

My husband and I were congratulating ourselves on how lucky we had been to fly out of Heathrow an hour before all the airports were closed. Increasing concern replaced our smugness , with every passing day, as we heard more shocking and appalling tales of the treatment of stranded travellers. We began to appreciate the potential gravity of the situation we were now in. This transcended to panic by the end of the week when our fears were confirmed, that we too had been stranded in Dubai with our one year old son.

I feel unable to name and shame, on our website, the well known companies that we discovered had dumped their customers with no help or empathy, or even worse the ones that sought to capitalise from them.  I will name the companies I had a direct experience with.

My PR shame list

As we were independent travellers our insurance did not cover us. Imagine how much extra business an insurance company would gain from advertising that they were the only company that did pay out!

Travel companies hid behind the “act of God” clause in their terms and conditions. I was appalled to hear how passengers travelling, with well known operators, had been dumped and told to sort the problem out themselves.

Hotels and car hire companies increased their rates by as much as three times to capitalise on distressed and stranded passengers. I also understand that many refused to refund customers or allow them to alter their dates.  A bit of empathy with their customers would have gained more credibility then could ever be achieve by expensive advertising campaigns. So many businesses promote themselves on their customer service and this was the opportune time to prove it.

I appreciate that this is a pretty unique situation but there was simply no excuse for the poor information and lack of sympathy from these businesses to their most valuable assets, their customers. Even though the airspace had been reopened I could not get through to any representative at Royal Brunei. The website claimed that all confirmed flights were leaving as scheduled.

Our airline, being international, had no legal obligation to get us back home for “acts of God”. Our flight was confirmed but Royal Brunei still left us waiting at an empty check in desk before sending out a terrified, lone representative, an hour late to advise us all that they had given our seats away.

The only word to describe the airports was chaos. I simply couldn’t believe how rude and aggressive some customer service staff I encountered were. At the airport, in Paris, staff had misplaced our pushchair. This was particularly distressing for me as, by this point, my son had not slept for a day and I faced a 15 hour wait for my next flight with a writhing, exhausted one year old. A mother in tears did not evoke any kind of sympathy so my husband was forced to create such a fuss security had to be called. Only then did we get any help!

How much great PR would have been gained by companies going to the airports offering free services, care and assistance for stranded passengers? What an easily missed opportunity 

Some companies, however, behaved superbly and proved to be real champions of customer service.

My PR fame list

Our knight in shining armour came in the form of Air France. Whilst the poor Royal Brunei representative was fighting off customers like a swarm of angry wasps, we jumped at the opportunity when Air France offered to get us to Paris on a flight leaving in 30 mins. They did not charge us, they processed our tickets quickly and efficiently, their customer service at check in and on the flight was outstanding, and they upgraded us to business class and gave my son his own seat. Not only this but they sorted a flight to Heathrow and arranged for our luggage to be waiting for us. Other passengers told us how they had also been rescued by Air France from all over the world. They are my customer service hero’s!!!  I will from now on always try to use them and endorse them at any opportunity. 

I was also pleased to discover that the company I used for airport parking “Heathrow Drive Fly” were offering customers full refunds, or changing dates and not profiting from extended stays.

Good PR does not come from announcing a new product or service and pestering journalists with dull press releases. It comes from going beyond what a customer expects, standing out from the competition and smart, creative thinking. Excellent customer service at Duport is our priority and my faith has been restored that we are not alone in our genuine care for our customers.

Can anyone else shame or fame a company?

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What is PR?

by: Rebecca

May 10th, 2010

Simply defined PR is your reputation. It is how others perceive and talk about what you do and what you say. Your reputation is not only how the public perceives you but also how your staff views you.  Having a well known, good, reputation will not only ensure you continue to attract lots of business, you will also attract and retain the best employees who then create and strengthen your reputation and the cycle continues….

A great reputation is not gained through expensive sales and marketing strategies. True, these will bring customers to your door but if you do not meet their expectations you will quickly loose their business as well as that powerful, word of mouth recommendation we all strive for. 

As society we tend to focus on the negative and your mistakes are disproportionally more costly. Harsh but true, your reputation will be discussed more frequently if it is negative rather than positive.

PR is not advertising, you do not pay the media to talk about your company. Getting the media to talk about your company in a positive way is far more difficult (and the real art of good PR) than a juicy piece of negative press the journalists know we all love.  

Having first hand experience of the recent travel chaos I was astounded at the wasted PR opportunities by the majority of companies directly involved. Astonishingly this is at a time when certain businesses desperately need to increase their creditability amongst their customers and staff.

I know the problems have cost billions but did anyone account for the cost of the terrible PR.  How can these companies be so short sighted especially when they spend millions on sales and marketing? 

How do you ensure that you create a positive reputation?

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Are our 2010 football world cup dreams fit for business?

by: Rebecca

May 6th, 2010

Are our 2010 football world cup dreams fit for business? A national obsession has begun regarding the health and welfare of our 2010 world cup squad. I thought it would be interesting to take a different approach and review a company health check of the Limited Company involved in the world cup, the Football Association LTD.

As the FA is a large corporation, analysing its health is a complicated business. To gain a full and accurate picture we need further information from the FA and expert analysis on the filing information held at Companies House. Think of this info as the initial observations from a worried mother rather than the conclusions of a specialist medical consultant!

I sincerely hope our team are in better shape than this report. The headlines are:

Age: 106

CCJ’s: none

Credit score: low

Employees: 544

Turnover: £206145000

Gross Profit: £17487200

Profit after tax: -£12241000, there is a lot of borrowing and profits are affected by the interest payable on loans.

Accounts: The latest accounts show a decrease in pre tax profits.

Shareholder funds: Despite the decreased profits shareholder funds increased to £18064400.

Assets: The negative current assets less current liabilities on the balance sheet are not a great sign.

You can download the full report from our website http://www.duport.co.uk/credit-reports/order.php

Can anyone provide any insight regarding the fitness of the Football Association LTD?

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